Week 3 assignment

Example of a poorly written website in my company's industry:
Omaha Children’s Museum
http://www.ocm.org/

Home Page
Website’s text

New Science & Technology Area Now Open!

You have to see it to believe it!
In the new Charlie Campbell Science and Technology Center, the Super Gravitron has expanded, Science Showplace now houses the museum's popular science demonstrations and the Inventor's Workshop gives children a place to maneuver gadgets, build structures and more. It's an inspiring, interactive place for kids to become immersed in science. Click here for details.

My version

New Charlie Campbell Science and Technology Center!

• Super Gravitron expanded;
• science Showplace now houses the museum's popular science demonstrations;
• inventor's Workshop gives children a place to maneuver gadgets, build structures and more…

Website’s text

Calling Young Writers!

Enter our creative writing contest.
Deadline: March 9

Chances are you’ve seen Gill, the little blue person who is the mascot and symbol of Omaha Children’s Museum. This is your opportunity to bring Gill to life with a short story. Winners will illustrate their stories with help of local children's book illustrator, Erin Taylor, be published in Omaha Family and participate at the museum's grand re-opening. Click here for details.

My version

Calling Young Writers!

Enter our creative writing contest.
This is your opportunity to bring Gill to life with a short story.
Deadline: March 9
Click here for more information.

Website’s text

Weekly Schedule

Monday, February 26
Museum Closed

Tuesday, February 27
10 a.m.-noon & 1-3 p.m. Artist-in-Residence Puppet Activities
10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. Sesame Street Activities
10:30 a.m. Preschool Pals
11:30 a.m. Bunch-a-Lunch
1 p.m. Science and Technology Learning Lab

Wednesday, February 28
10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. Sesame Street Activities

Thursday, March 1
10:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. & 6 p.m. Sesame Street Activities
11 a.m. Science and Technology Learning Lab
3-7 p.m. Artist-in-Residence Puppet Activities
4:30 p.m. Thursday Night Science*

Friday, March 2
10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. Sesame Street Activities

Saturday, March 3
10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m.Sesame Street Activities
11 a.m. Science and Technology Learning Lab
11:30 a.m. & 2:30 p.m. Science Showplace Presentation
1:30 p.m. Omaha Healthy Kids Alliance "Safe Kids Around the House"

Sunday, March 4
Last Day of Frontier Presents Can You Tell Me How to Get to Sesame Street?
1-5 p.m. Artist-in-Residence Puppet Activities
1:30 p.m. & 3:30 p.m. Sesame Street Activities
2:30 p.m. Science Showplace Presentation

Monday, March 5
Museum Closed
*pre-register for this workshop by calling (402) 342-6164 x. 424.
For more information about any of these activities, click here.

My version

Weekly Schedule

Click here and find out what is going on at Omaha Children’s Museum!

Permanent exhibits
Website’s text

Charlie Campbell Science and Technology Center
Now Open!

Kids will love the expanded Super Gravitron, now featuring hydraulic, pneumatic and mechanical sections. At the Inventor's Workshop, maneuver gadgets inspired by Leonardo da Vinci's sketchbooks and create your own structures at Dream It! Build It! and the whirligig station. At Science Showplace you'll see live science presentations like Whiz Bang Super Science and The Amazing Bubble Show. In Recollections, move in front of a projector to see your image on a large screen surrounded in high-definition patterns of color!

My version

Charlie Campbell Science and Technology Center
Now Open!

• Expanded Super Gravitron, now featuring hydraulic, pneumatic and mechanical sections;
• at the Inventor's Workshop, maneuver gadgets inspired by Leonardo da Vinci's sketchbooks;
• create your own structures at Dream It! Build It!;
• live science presentations at Science Showplace;
• in Recollections, see your image on a large screen surrounded in high-definition patterns of color!
Click here for more information.

Website’s text

Creative Arts Center

Our recently renovated Creative Arts Center inspires children to unleash their inner artist. The area features a theater with face painting, costumes and a stage for performances, an Artist-in-Residence studio where kids will learn different types of art from community artists as well as a community sculpture, giant Magna Doodles, make-and-take art projects and more!

My version

Creative Arts Center

• Recently renovated;
• inspires children to unleash their inner artist;
• theater with face painting, costumes and a stage for performances;
• kids will learn different types of art from community artists as well as a community sculpture.
Click here for more information.

Website’s text

Toddler Exploration Center

With park-like nature scenery all around and clouds above, the Toddler Exploration Center provides an area for little ones between ages 1 – 4 to climb, crawl, create and play.

My version

Toddler Exploration Center

• Park-like nature scenery all around and clouds above;
• area for little ones between ages 1 – 4 to climb, crawl, create and play.
Click here for more information.